Darling, kill that cockroach! Darling? Where are you? Get out of the
bathroom, love! What are you doing in there? The cockroach isn’t there. It’s in
the living room. Now I don’t know anymore. It may have gone to the kitchen. Hurry
up, otherwise it will hide! Get out of there! Don’t be so fearful. It’s not
fear, it’s disgust, ok. No, it’s not a Madeira cockroach. What an exaggeration,
it’s not that big. No, it’s not a flying one either. You can relax. How do I
know? I saw it. It didn’t fly. Yes, I know it could be just resting still. But I know a
flying cockroach when I see one. I’m sure it’s not a flying one. I swear. I
swear by my life. All right, I swear by the name of God. What kind is it? It’s little.
That’s it, a little French cockroach. Exactly, you see? There’s nothing to
worry about. Now open that door, darling. If you take too long it will escape
and we won’t know where it is anymore. It will be worse, huh! No, no, wait, that’s
not it. I didn’t mean to scare you. Calm down! All right, let’s review everything.
In the living room, it was in the living room. And we already know it’s a little
French cockroach. You speak French, don’t you? See? You can speak in French with
it and ask it to go away. You don’t even have to get close to it. Oh, darling, don’t
be upset, I was just kidding, to relax a little bit. Ok, I know it’s a serious
matter, then let’s speak seriously. Actually, I think it’s not even an adult
cockroach. It’s so little, so little, that probably it’s a baby. You won’t be
afraid of a baby cockroach, will you? What do you mean by “many”? No, it was
just one. I understand, if it was a baby, there must be other babies. Is that
what you mean? Darling? Are you listening to me? Calm down, calm down, breathe, breathe.
Count to ten and calm down. One, two, three. Take a deep breath. Four, five,
six. Are you better? It’s only one cockroach, one baby cockroach. There aren’t
others, you can trust me. Now open that door and let’s solve this matter. Look,
let’s do the following, if you don’t want, you don’t have to kill it. There is a
poison in the closet. You just have to put some on the wall corners and under
the furniture, in strategic spots, you know. The cockroach will eat it and die
by itself. No one needs to kill it. That’s it! What do you think about this
idea? To call an insecticide spraying team? No, that’s not necessary. It’s just
one cockroach. No, darling, I won’t go to a hotel just to wait a cockroach die
poisoned. There’s no need. We will stay here at home. Look, let’s solve it once
and for all. I’m getting tired. Ouch! Darling, I’m seeing it. It’s coming this
way. I will go up the bed. It’s going to the bathroom where you are. It will
pass under the door. It will go in there. Watch out! Darling, come back! Don’t
go away! Don’t leave me here alone with the cockroach.
Hello? Darling? Where are you? Come back home, love! I have already killed the cockroach. Do you want to see? I will send you a picture of the dead cockroach by WhatsApp, ok? Done. Have you seen it? Of course, that’s the cockroach I killed. Do you really think I would download a picture of a dead cockroach on the internet? Give me a break! Ok, I will take a picture holding today’s newspaper and the cockroach beside it. Done, sent. Satisfied? It is dead. Yes, 100% dead. I am absolutely sure. I smashed it with the flip-flop and then I sprayed poison on the corpse, just in case. No, it’s not moving. No, it won’t resurrect. Say it, I will write it down. Ok, I will put it in a plastic bag, I will tie the bag’s mouth, I will throw it in the garbage, and put the garbage outside. Wait on the line. Ok, I’ve done everything you asked me. Now come home, sweetheart, because I don’t like being alone. It’s getting late and I am afraid of the dark.
